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The Lizard Project...

Wow! this was a weird one! It took me a while to decide if I would even put it on the website. What with all the political correctness bullshit and such, I figured this one to get me some jail time for animal cruelty... Dead lizards! They are all over Florida and my patio (not dead yet.)

Actually if anyone should do time for this it would be...Cody and the two family cats,"Fat Boy Patches" and the little hunter- killer Stinky. They are the real criminals here!

Here's the scenario... 

Stinky the hunter killerStinky (who is a runt feral cat about the size of a big rat) stays out all night and brings in a fresh kill around 3:00 am. Usually a lizard. Sometimes she is feeling quite bad assed and will drag in a rat about her size or even a pigeon or small crow twice her size. One morning I awoke to the sound of her cat howling and the fluttering of a wounded bird. I opened the bedroom door to find a wounded bird fluttering around in the hallway, feathers from one end of the hall to the other. She was so proud! God what a fuckin mess!!!

NEW! NEW! NEW! Stinky's Trophy Page hyperlink! CHECK IT OUT! 

Usually she will bring in the wounded victim rat, bird or lizard and bat it around the floor for several minutes before Big Boy Patches the fat lazy cat, and Cody will join in the game. 

Fatboy Patches Patches will take a turn slapping the poor  victim around for a while before

 click on the pictures for close ups of the "Criminals!"



Cody the Chomper Cody jumps in and finishes the job with a "Chomp" to the head or throat and then they all wander off, leaving the mess for me to clean up! Assholes!



Last summer, I counted 21 kills of assorted rodents and lizards in one week before I decided to create an art project with the remains of their work! I began saving the corpses of the lizards. I put them in a bag so they would eventually mummify.

Then I found a styrofoam box discarded behind Kmarts and went to work. The box served as a shell for my Mt. Calvary battlefield scene. Some spray foam, some paint and some electronic resisitors, Badabuum!

This art masterpiece took on a life of it's own! I placed some broken shards of junk and styrofoam into the shell and sprayed the cavities with the sprayfoam. I then stuck more junk into the shell and let it dry.

Lizards on crosses 1Finally, I placed the dead lizards and crosses made of ice cream sticks in place and spray painted the entire thing with chrome and gun metal gray paint.

I placed this piece in my own studio museum for awhile, but the cockroaches or rats in my warehouse snuk in and eventually stole many of the mumified carcasses of the lizards so, at this showing the lizards are mostly missing. I am replacing them as my team ( Cody, Patches, and the little hero Stinky) permit.

They say that a picture says a thousand words, but I chose 10 pictures (ah shit, there's only 9) from over 100 that I took, and...I don't know but, I think you really have to see this sucker in person! I am screening museums around the globe to see who wants to fund my retirement by having this bad dog placed in their gallery!

Maplethorpe, eat my dust!

Lizards on Crosses 2 Lizards on crosses 3 Crosses 2nd Poster view Mummy lizard at NE view


Mummy lizard from aerial view Mummy wailing at cross SW view of mummies view of crosses