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Hairballs, Bugers & Toenail Clippings

Shortly after September 11, I read several article about the Red Cross dropping the ball regarding their handling of blood donations,  as well as collection and disbursement of money that was donated for the victims. I read one story that alleged the Red Cross collected blood donations when they knew they would not be able to store them longer than a few weeks and that in their greed they had collected far more than they would even be able to use. The blood was dumped out because it cannot be stored that long. (Miami Herald 2002)

Shame on the Red Cross. Shame on the United Way for many of the same reasons. When a charity organization outgrows their mission, and they focus more on the business of being a business, than they do on helping people in need, it's time to put them to sleep. Fucking vampires!

On the other hand, I certainly don't want to show up as one who has no heart or compassion by refusing to give anything of myself. I want to give at least a part of myself to my fellow man...I think you can see where I am going with this right?

Here is my plan...

Starting now, I am going to start collecting all of the spare parts of my body that I am no longer using. I am still using my blood so I'm not parting with that. However, I happen to have an unending supply of unneeded bugers, hairballs and toenail and fingernail clippings that I normally just throw away or flick off the end of my finger.

Not anymore...from now on I am going to collect these little tidbits and morsels and save them all in one big bag. I will label the bag "Greg Hormone's Spare Parts Bag" and when it is full each month or so, I will package it up and personally deliver it to the nearest Red Cross Blood Mobile. These parts are still in perfect condition, and although I have no idea what they could be used for, I'm sure that the Red Cross in all their wisdom can find a way to make a buck off my spare parts.

Of course I mean to film the entire episode so I can record to memory, the look of gratitude on the volunteers faces when they see my expression of unselfish compassion for my fellow man. I will explain that what I have read of their work of late, that I felt moved to make such a contribution.

Speaking of being "moved" to contribute, maybe I could persuade Cody to drop a little something in the bag for the Red Cross too!