Saturday, May 30, 2009

Somali Pirates Retaliate

After recent incursions by Somali Pirates who were repelled by the U.S. Navy's 5th Fleet, the Somalis have found a new secret weapon to resume assaulting seagoing vessels in the Indian Ocean region near Mogadishu.

The Somali Pirates have found a way to compel whales to swallow I.E.D.'s (Improvised Explosive Devises) and then ram cargo ships that are navigating thru the channel and onto the Indian Ocean.

According to official anonymous unreliable sources, the Somali rebels have been using a sonar device to draw whales onto the beach head near Mogadishu and fill them with RPG grenades, then force them back into the ocean with some kind of homing device that is designed to locate seagoing vessels.

The Pirates then follow the whales with a tracking device and begin negotiations with the target ships prior to activating the assault, where they would send the armed whales toward the ship under attack.

America's new pretend president, Barack Obama was out of the country, busy kissing ass and apologizing to every third world gangster leader for everything the United States has ever done, and was unavailable for comment.
The dilema for the U.S. administration now is, how to defend against such an assault without offending the Green World and Naturalist Environmentalist Movement.
The White House Press Staff was typically confused...
1. Denial
2. Ambigious explanations
3. Procrastination, and vague intentions
4. Shut down and censorship of the press
An unofficial report from the Department of The U.S. Navy reported that trained S.E.A.L Dolphins may be employed to fight the programmed Somali Whales before they reach the targeted Somali vessels. The projected cost to the Department of Defense was not disclosed, but the cost for such a program may be abetted by filming the entire event in a new video series and maybe a new movie of Flipper, The American Hero, coming soon to a theatre near you!
- Doctor Greg Hormone 2009