Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Some modern day facts about truth and life in general....

Well folks and fans...this year has certainly been filled with worthless non-newsworthy drek, and White Mud has had a hard time trying to keep pace with world events...

Being a world renowned rock band isnt as easy as it used to be...Simply staying as high as a kite and trashing hotel rooms just doesnt make the grade anymore these days...

God knows we have tried to stay abreast of the world events....blowing up Mt. St. Helen in syncronization with our show, covering the life, death and casual afterlife of Pope John Paul who is now selling real estate in Buenos Aires...(you didnt really think he died did you?)and the Turku experiments etc...Then there was the countless trash media stories about all of Hollywood knocking each other up and filming the lives and deaths of thier unborn children, and the re-invention of Dan Rather who will now be playing the role of Edward R. Murrow in a new Indie film starring himself as himself, directed by himself, with special effects by ....himself in the new film "If Only I Wasnt An Asshole" Costarring Ted Kopple as Alfred E. Newman as an adult.

Trying to keep up with the Al-Queda band which has dominated much of the news these days has been a project in itself! Reason enough to slaughter all of these rotten sand monkeys! Hell Ive heard them play and they really suck!

So much has happened that I find myself stunned emotionally. I only hope that White Mud can find the energy to try to surpass all of this media madness. It will be like White Mud playing the part of the Special Olympics Team in Bejing in 2008! Tough stuff! But I feel strongly that we are up to the task!

Theresa Schaivo will be on ice as a guest and perhaps we can get her to follow a few party balloons with her eyes while we play our favorite tunes.

In recent conversations with fellow Mudders, I have surmised that Brother Jerry The Spic and Fadda Ken will be travelling with me to New Falluja on a very long and arduous trip into Kill Town....

Fadda Ken stands on his porch with his bags packed as we speak waiting to make the journey. He has been practicing rude behavior all his life and is now ready to train willing followers how to become rich by being rude! His new video is coming out soon! Buy it or suffer the consequences!

Other chats with Brothers Walt Batanicle Galkowski who will be playing a clarinet (a first for him...ever...fucking ever...)through a weed blower, and Brother Rudy Rocket who remains an enigma as always will be there...doing their part to emotionally damage the fans, and insult fellow band members as often as they can breathe.

Our Beloved Cousin Mikey Moe whos legendary incendary performances include leading the Incredible Mohawk Brothers into "Performance Hell" time and time again, will be there and has made the mistake of offering his new studio to White Mud to "practice" a little, days before the show, to get their "chops" and perhaps record some of the practice sessions to audio and video....Hope he has insurance...

Others amongst the original lineup have promised to be there as well...Gary (Now called the Caveman) Garfinkle "Spunky" as we knew him back then...will be there if can just shut up long enough to book his flight...Our dear Brother Nathan Young who is still trying to figure out if he is Nathan Clay or Nathan Young or Doug Lunceford will be there if he can figure out who he actually is in time to book a flight...

Otherwise he will have to book flights for all of his personalities and that will be expensive! He may have to just steal a car between the three of him and hopefully not have all of his personalities get arrested in the same night on the way to Detroit! (hint #37...lots of fake id Doug...)

Then there is Hank "Your True Chief" Sobah who will be in New Falluja during the holidays and might just have to sleep on a park bench from Dec 25 till the show...send him a blanket wont ya?

Sir Martin continues to plink on his keyboards organizing the show from the salt caverns under Mt. Clemens Streets along with Sheila his pet panther and Uboo the incredible bear...Scary thing about Sir Martin...he seems to have figured out a way to track peoples intentions on attending the concert.

It seems he has figured out a way to measure the pulses of your fingertips on your on keyboard as you reply to our emails and solicitations regarding show attendance.

Weak pulse reactions seem to be measured as an anemic response to our show, and this of course marks you, through Sir Martins "Hybercyberkintetic Intergalactical Cereberal Monofilimatic Sensory Device" Which of course dooms you to destruction once White Mud hits ground in New Falluja.

Oooh yes! Those of you who have been lax about responding to this "Epic World Event"...are in for a baaaaaad Daaaaaay...

"He Knows when you are sleeeeeping...He knows when you're awake!"

Sadly, any of you who have been wimpy about this whole sordid sad pathetic affair regarding White Mud's desparate attempt to get back into show business are going to be in trouble!

White Mud, in years past, invented "Party crashing!" We did! We invented it! Before then, there were minor interruptions, but not real crashing!

Crashing is when a party just goes reeeeeealll baaaaad! Thats what White Mud has planned for anyone who doesnt cooperate with the program...Just thought you should all know.

Beyond the masterfullness of Sir Martin, I of course your own Doctor Hormone will be there recovering from a bad bout of tropical depression, and looking forward to a nice cooling off period in the arctic breezes of Detroit in January...Nothing like a vacation from hell....

Doctor Sherwin P. Seltzer (Tony Diorio) will be there as well, doing his best to play poorly in the true spirit of White Mud...

Rick The Carman Forester will be allowed to join us during a brief furlough from the Federal Witness Protection program which sentenced him to secrecy after he blew the whistle on the Weathermen back in 68...OOps! Sorry Rick!

The Pierowich brothers will be there in all there glory, along with Big Daddy Al Foyt our master of ceremonies at the video board, Tommy Funk Cucuru and many other unconfirmed guests and friends....

Look for us all wont you? We will be coming to stay in your homes amongst your wives and children very sooooon.

So in closing...whatever you thought was newsworthy today...wasnt! Its all bullshit...All that matters right now is that you all show up in your White Mud T-shirts ready willing and able to endure the abuse of your favorite rock band....back and alive and well from 1969-

White Mud!
Jaegers Castle Rock
43785 North Gratiot
Mt. Clemens Michigan
Sunday January 7 2007

Friday, November 03, 2006

Cousin Jeff...Flavoguy...continued....

At our previous post, we provided you, our viewing fans of White Mud, with some pics of Doctor Hormone's now famous cousin in his White Mud garb from his Halloween costume.

We at White Mud saw this as an opportunity for us to exploit yet another willing individual for the sake of our own personal gain, and Jeff was a willing fellow so at the cost of his secure job at DTW (a rare commodity in Detroit these days to even have a job) He sacraficed himself onto the altar of unemployment so to further our noble cause...shamelessly promoting White Mud....

Here then is the final photo of Cousin Jeff at work at Detroit Metro Airport, just before he was given his third and final warning to lose the White Mud shirt or his job....



This is the kind of courage that White Mud's fans are made of...willing to lose thier jobs to promote their favorite band! Willing to be cast into the firey flames of uncertainty about their future...willing to be abandoned by their families for going beyond the call of duty!

Thanks Cousin Jeff...What a guy! Remind me to buy you a beer at our show in January!

Remember fans! This is the kind of loyalty it takes to be a trueWhite Mud fan! This is what will earn you free T-shirts and maybe even a CD of us and perhaps even free parking at our show.

WHITE MUD BLUES BAND...SUNDAY JANUARY 7 2007 AT JAEGERS CASTLE ROCK CLUB 43785 NORTH GRATIOT AVENUE MT. CLEMENS MICHIGAN....

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Cousin Jeff Is A Big Hit out at DTW

Hi fans!

Well tonights news breif surpasses the death of Anna Nicole Smiths son, John Kerrys' Foot in Mouth Faux Paux for which Rush Limbaugh has nominated him for another Purple Heart Medal for shooting himself in the foot....and all of the political bullshit that is going on otherwise...

My own dear cousin Jeff "The Flavoguy" has taken the brave step of wearing his WMBB T-Shirt to work at the Detroit Metro Airport where he is doing local advertising for us at one of the most effective advertising venues in the world...our own airport billboard!



Thank you cousin Jeff!

I have asked cousin Jeff if he could appeal to his employer to be allowed to wear his halloween costume from now until January 7. Even at the risk of losing his job...im sure cousin Jeff will reluctantly oblige White Mud. What a Guy!



This is only the beginning! White Mud is looking into renting a full sized billboard to advertise the upcoming show at Jaegers Castle Rock Club in Mt. Clemens Michigan at 43785 North Gratiot Avenue. January 7 2007! Thats the big date!

The Band is busy rehearsing cybernetically, and by then we will have many of our favorite tunes tweaked to sound as good as they ever did!

Imagine The Supremes hit, Baby Love sung in A' Capela or whatever the hell it is...by 25 old guys who havent sung the song in 37 years and never sang it that well in the first place! Wow! mini recorders and video cameras are not only welcome, but we encourage you to bring them and share your videos with us for the production of our Video Movie of the Show...

Stay tuned! Nothing else in the news is relevant...Nothing else matters! Stay focused on White Mud!...

White Mud Blues Band 37 Year Reunion at Jaegers Castle Rock Club 43785 North Gratiot Avenue, Mt. Clemens Michigan! January 7 2007! Be there!