Tuesday, October 24, 2006

White Mud's New Islamo-Fascist Torture School Begins...

With all of the negative media about torturing Muslim Fanatic terrorists, the White House Administration has had a bit of a go with trying to convince the world community that there is any benefit to the effort. But our new school is tops!



There are those that would argue that this practice is inhumane and hideous. Human rights groups would argue that this is a crime against humanity.

But Here at White Mud's New Islamo-Facist Terrorist Torture Training School we feel otherwise...

Not only is this practice beneficial to the world in an effort to curb the fanaticism that prevails, it's downright fucking fun!

Here at our new training facility, we dont even bother to ask the prisoners any pertinent questions about location of their leaders or the plans for future assaults by Al-Queda, Hezzbolla or the Hamas...we just enjoy removing their limbs in a systematic approach, much like the coroner might enjoy dissecting a corpse.

The only difference is that our subjects are still alive!

While we cant divulge the exact location of our new facility for obvious security reasons, we can tell you that our camp enjoys the warm Caribbean breezes all year round and the tuition is downright cheap!

There is nothing more relaxing than yanking out a few teeth from an Al Queda operative, or lopping a few digits from his eating hand, so he must now use his shit picking ass wiping hand for eating as well...

One guy we did recently made a wonderful stump and doormat after we removed all four limbs and pulled a few teeth from his jaw.

We are quite proud of our work here at the Institution For Enlightened Madness, and the CIA as well as many other International Security Agencies have contacted us to enroll in our training programs...

Just a couple of examples of our work include:

Khalied Sheik Mohammed who was believed to be in a US prison....nope...he's here with us...

Here are some amazing before and after conversion photos of Khaleid....


BEFORE OUR WORK....


AND AFTER OUR WORK...PRETTY NEAT EH?

HERE'S ANOTHER FAVORITE...ANDY GADAHN BEFORE OUR WORK:


AND AFTER:


Note the nice work on the eyes, done with a simple magnifying glass and the noon day sun...Lasic surgery at its all time best! Freaking great!

Some minor dental work...pluck...pluck...pluck...and voila! Extreme makeover...The wildest dreams any Sand Rat could imagine! Oh forget about the 17 virgins though...no dick.

Well, thats just a brief report on the latest efforts from your favorite band as we prepare for our 2007 reuinion in Detroit on January 7.

Dont forget to be there...

Jaegers Castle Rock Club 43785 North Gratiot Avenue, Mt. Clemens Michigan.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

White Mud Blues Band Members begin earnest preparation....

AND NOW A SHAMELESS ADVERTISEMENT:

In Honor of the upcoming White Mud Blues band Reunion (now slated for January 7 2007 as a gauranteed date!) Cody the Flying Wonderdog has begun the final preparations to release his predictable Grammy Award winning CD Collection!

Any dog that can record 22 million songs in just a few short weeks should be given a Grammy for crying out loud. He should at least be released from the pound for disturbing the peace for the last 14 weeks!



The fact that there are actually 387 separate CD disks in this collection should not intimidate any of you! You Know that White Mud always makes sure that you have the perfect purchase with us!

And so it is with this fine collectors set from your favorite "crap factory", Cody The Amazing Wonderdog!

Each 387 CD collection kit comes complete with its own fine wood entertainment cabinet made of the the finest Costa Rican Bulsa Wood/Alabama Particle board.



This cabinet will be delivered to you if you order now, for the nominal fee of $1285.00 lus shipping and handling. You need to protect this fine collection of CD's..and this fine piece of vintage furniture can be yours, to hold almost every one of your new collection!* (cabinet actually holds about 274 of the entire 387 cd collection)

But thats not all! Nooooo noooo....thats not all at all at all.....We will throw in an original Hurricane Katrina era New Orleans luggage kit, which you can use to hold the remaining Cds from your collection as seen below...



But wait! There's more! More?....Fucking Why? Because! Thats why! Now, this order can be made even more delightful if you order now!

Thats right! If you order now you will get the added bonus CD of Cody singing every original tune White Mud Blues Band ever sang! You can have this CD in time for White Muds January 7 2007 37 Year Reunion Tour in Detroit Michigan!

Dont delay kids! Really!...This is a deal of a lifetime....Cody is getting very old and stupid...Not only does he piddle and poopy all over the place these days in spite of his daily beatings, but he has completely forgotten all of the math I taught him when he was a puppy and is now willing to let these special collectors series go for the ridiculous price of only $239.95 each! THIS INCLUDES THE NEW BONUS CD AS WELL! (cabinet is extra)

Get in the spirit of White Mud! Take advantage of the old and senile! Abuse an old dog today wont you? Operators are standing by to take your calls!

Sorry, no 800 number here, the promotion is already losing money due to Codys senility and poor math skills!

Simply send your cash or money orders to Cody Sings Every Song Ever Written c/o Doctor Greg Hormone 12108 SW 117 Avenue Miami Fl. 33186.

I, Doctor Greg Hormone promise you that as soon as Cody has finished the CD, we will begin processing pre-purchased orders on a first come basis!

Oh one other thing...Cody has insisted that he wants original sound quality on each and every CD produced so he has insisted on recording each and every CD Live and Original! That means that you will get, not just a recording of the Greatest Singing Dog singing every tune ever written, It will be your very own original copy, serialized and autographed!

Were not sure how long Cody will last doing each of these CD's one at a time live, so we highly reccomend that you order yours right the fuck now! Im serious...if he doesnt die singing, im going to personally end his career in the next few days because I cant take any more of this!

Please hurry and order now before someone writes another song and we have to just keep going and going and going....

So again if you order now, you can get the entire collection of Cody The Amazing Wonderdog singing Every Song Ever Written, Including the White Mud Bonus CD as well as the fine Wood cabinet, and free extra vintage Katrina Luggage kit for the extremely reasonable price of only $1500.00

Please do not re- read this ad! Simply order now, and be the first on your block to own this fine CD Collection! Hell well even throw in a free White Mud T-shirt so you are ready for the show!

Dont forget to be ready to wait in line to order tickets outside the door on the early morning hours on January 7 2007! The ticket booth will open at 6:00am sharp, that morning...snow or not, on a first come basis!

White Mud Blues Band 2007 Reunion
at Jaegers Castle Rock Club
43785 North Gratiot Avenue
Mt. Clemens Michigan