Thursday, December 22, 2005

Coconuts 2005

Sister Janeen has finally found her mission in life...To deliver living coconuts to every living person on the planet via the U.S. Mail....

Its a remarkable thing when someone finds their sacred mission in life...some try to cure cancer or pretend to try while spending millions of $$$ in trust money pretending to find the cure for cancer....

Some do concerts of music and others save souls from their own sardonic worthlessness who would otherwise simply rot in their own feces.

Others find a way to survive by peddling natural garbage, tree grown trash that would otherwise cost $$$ to clean up. But Then sister Janeen has found a way to charge the city of Key West Fla, a fee to clean up thier trash and sell it for a profit to the sucker tourists who visit Florida.

Double Dipper Janeen....picking up coconuts, and selling them for say $ 20-30 each, with a quick coat of paint and some feathers!

There is a divine sweetness about peddling coconut shells. Imagine the sense of currency....coconuts dropping all around, and you simply see $$$ whenever one drops....

Then there is the life force of the coconuts! Visit now the Gallery!....

While many simply wait in line to receive a free trailer to live in courtesy of FEMA, my brave sister is willing to work her way to prosperity by proudly selling this profound art work of the times... a bold statement about living in the madness of the times....

These are develish times, and only the artistic talents of Sister Janeen could depict the trying times we live in through the eyes of a satanic coconut!

Jimi would be proud to know that his "Cow Sounds" from Third Stone From the Sun were not lost on humanity....No, here in Coconut-land all is well and you can still wave your plastic finger at humanity via this fine art relic...

These and many other divine works of art are borne out of a sense of 60's rebellion....And it has become a business....As P.T. Barnum once said...

"There is a Sucker Borne Every Minute!"

More on this to come....Visit Sister Janeen in Key West, where she is mass producing these Urban Art Phenomenon as fast as she can find local Conch Rats to help her paint them and bring them to lifes surreal canvas!

As Eileen Barton once sang in the 50's "Im Goin Poooo-Co Loco in the Coco...."

Monday, December 12, 2005

Tookie and Other Irrelevant News of the Day...

Stanley "Tookie" Williams is the renowned Crips Gang leader now on death row and scheduled for execution, in fact this evening as I write this blog. Just who is "Tookie"?

His own web site describes him in a breif profile part of which is found here below:


Stan is a peacemaker on death row.

He has been nominated 5 times for the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in helping to prevent gang violence.

He has been nominated four times for the Nobel Literature Prize for his children's books that warn young people about the pitfalls of joining a gang and exposes them to alternatives.

He maintains innocence of the crimes he was accused of, and faced racist discrimination throughout his trial. One issue highlighted the fact that the prosecutor in Tookie's original case removed three African-American jurors from the jury. During Stan's trial, this prosecutor made racially-coded remarks during his closing argument, comparing Stan during the trial to a Bengal tiger in the zoo and stating that a black community - South Central Los Angeles - was equivalent to the natural "habitat" of a Bengal Tiger.

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled against Tookie on his final appeal and set his execution date for December 13. Thus they disregarded 9 of the 24 Ninth Circuit Court judges' assertion that the District Attorney at Tookie's trial employed "reprehensible and unconstitutional" racist tactics, using animal-in-a-jungle metaphors to refer to Tookie and to the South Central environment in which he lived. This landmark ruling means that minorities can now legally be rejected from juries based on race. This is now the law of the land.

So, forgetting that Stanley "Tookie" Williams was in fact found guilty of murder on several counts, and convicted by a jury...The Now Famous 9th District Court of The United States felt that his trial was unfair since he was compared to a Bengal tiger, considered as a racial remark made by the prosecution, during the trial.

Tookie has spent much of his time in prison writing books allegedly negotiating his redemption with God for some of his past antics during his days running with the Crips, his home boys. His books are supposed to support his claim that he is now engaged in saving other young fools from a Gang-Life.

I, Doctor Hormone am not going to pass judgement here on my's just too arrogant a thing to do...I just find it amazing that he has such a fan club of followers and that he has been nominated for Nobel Peace Prizes 5 times...Hmphphph!

He didnt murder just once...And according to records from his arrest and trial, he was ferocious and took great pleasure in the mercilous execution of those whos lives he took.

I dunno, maybe it just me, but somehow repititive murders in cold blood are not the deeds of one deserving a pardon or a book signing party, or a Nobel Peace Prize for writing about his remorse later in life.

Another website proclaims Tookies remorse in these words:

Tookie Today
Tookie greatly regrets the violent history of the Crips -- particularly how so many young black men have hurt each other -- and he wants to do what he can to stop it. The Tookie Speaks Out Against Gang Violence book series for elementary-school-age children is the first fruit of his longing to prevent young people of every color from becoming gangbangers, from ending up in prison, crippled by bullets, or killed.

Tookie is determined to make amends for having been a co-founder of the Crips. He intends to try in every way he can to guide those youngsters who have imitated him away from the road that led him to death row where he faces State execution. "Don't join a gang," he tells children in his books, writing from his San Quentin cell. "You won't find what you're looking for. All you will find is trouble, pain and sadness. I know. I did."

Now, my professional opinion:

Should mercy be shown?, Should clemency be offered?...should he get a retrial because he was referred to as a Bengal Tiger? I read his remorseful words about fearing for future gangbangers getting shot or jailed but where are the words of remorse for the victims of his crimes?

Tookie will best serve as a lesson for the struggling violent youths of the world today if his recent "Years of Encarcerated Enlightenment" are combined with a memorable "Martyrs Death" So that his powerful words will ring true for years to come:

"All you will find is trouble, pain and sadness. I know. I did."

Mercy? Naaaaa!

Instead, I think...The T-Shirt of the day should be this one...

And now, a little rap in honor of the fallen hero:

INTRO:(*mobster Corleone talking*)

Vision 88 kilos of cocaine smack-dead in your face
The street value of that is what you dream to make
Run an illegal business,racketeerin
Smugglin,doin things from handin a gun,is what they fearin
Bodyguards and hitmen like some Al Capone shit
Heavy artillery got the cops on my dick
Different locations,spots where it takes place
If you show them my money,your ass is gettin f-laid
There's four major games that run the city of G's
The violators,the Gambinos and the Corleones and me
The violators and Gambinos they run uptown
Me and my cousin Corleone we run downtown
Murder's an everyday thang in the city
Where you gotta plot chips,jag robberies and do in its
Tanadian Nay,the charge of the weapons
Hit from verandahs and do a thing unexpected
So we plan a plot with an Uzi and 10 shot
Buck em till they all drop,circle round the block
Let em have it as soon as they come out
Unload on their ass,commence to takin them out!

Pretty aint it? Makes you wish we had more chairs....

By the way, when I said I wasnt going to get judgemental in this blog?....I lied!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Wow! No Wonder Brad Ran Like Hell!...and Saddam's Trial..


Our greatest Paparrazzi Love Lady, Jennifer Aniston was discovered prancing nude in her apartment and was furious about her profile being revealed on the internet, and with good reason!

She has made a point that if anyone dared to produce the photos on the internet, there would be hell to pay...

Chee! If I was her, I would do all I could to protect my image too! Im not sure if trouble is in the loft for this news journalist, but im going to have to take a chance here....

Here is the only photo that I was able to extract from my news sources of Jen dancing in her living room ( i guess)

Hot! But maybe too hot for Brad Boy! Id personally go for the double paired tittas of the lovely Jen rather than the psychotic silicone lips of Angelina Jolie...

But then thats Hollywood....when ya got the money and the fame, all thats left is the chaos....

Life as a farmer in Kansas will never be as exciting, but then who freaking cares?

Meanwhile, Im hoping to get a new pair of red socks for Christmas even though I dont celebrate the holiday, I just want a new pair of red socks.

Breaking News:

After Saddam Hussein's outbreak in court today, Members of White Mud volunteered to step in and help contain him so he could have his trial completed without any further disruption. The solution was simple American ingenuity....Duct tape!

The Judge later thanked White Mud blues Band for the novel yet, simplistic idea to allow the hearings to continue...

Meanwhile, on other news fronts....White Mud has discovered a whole family of thier missing cohorts...The Werner Family....

Apparently Officer Jerry (The Spic) has been doing his homework, and found White Muds old bouncers, the Werner Brothers Mark, and Pete who bravely and sometimes foolishly protected the boys back in the day when their mouths got a little larger than their brains...

Often, back in the day when White Mud would frequent their favorite restaurants, The Golden Nugget, Big Boys, and certain places of ill repute as they were called, they would run into confrontations with truckers on early morning jaunts, or leftover greasers in the day, who suggested that White Mud collectively "Go Get A Fuckin Haircut"

Well, as you might guess, White Mud's fraternity would not let this kind of encounter go without some reciprocal remarks about the truckers mothers, or their fat asses...and often we would find ourselves rather outmanned....

When The Werner Brothers came along, and became our good friends, and bouncers, we were delighted to see them "engage" on our behalf, and often we would leave them to finish the job of protecting us....

Often outnumbered, we were proud to see them defend our honor as we slowly drove away in Jerry's Edsel..."Kick thier asses you guys!" We would cry aloud with great pride!

Well as you might guess, White Mud is proud to regroup with our old bouncers, and although we havent seen them in 36 years, we are counting on them to once again....stand tall as we assault New Falluja in the spring of 2006!

They may not know about this until they read it here....but we are confident that they will be able and willing to once again Serve Honor and Protect! Hoorah!

What a great bunch of guys White Mud are! Hope were still having a good time!

While photos are not yet available, try to picture Fonzi and his younger brother...This is Pete and Mark Werner....

By the way, Jerry tells me that Little Sister Linda Werner has some actual unaltered photos of White Mud performing for their parents in the living room of thier home in St. Clair Shores back in the day!

If we can get any of them to talk to us, we will endeavor to get those photos for posterities sake!

Meanwhile, we continue to ask you all to contact Chris Kinner, who has the Long Lost Tape of White Mud from the Crows Nest East in 1968....

231-675-0025...Call him collect if you like...he is often on stage on Fridays and Saturdays...he loves to get the calls when he is in the middle of a show....Really!