Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Breaking News On the Iraq Front....

I know that with all of the filth and crap you have been forced to read on the media front lately, this will be very difficult to swallow (pardon the pun) but former US President Bill Clinton has been photographed by real photographers (no cut and paste stuff here) in a very intimate and exposing photo with his old pal Saddaam Hussein....

I (the lone photographer) caught this picture late afternoon Monday June 9 2000 while following our former president across the ocean in what I thought was going to be a simple expose' of him and a young Iraqi woman named Shabila.....

It turned out to be much more than that! Wow was I surprised!

These guys really know how to party in the dessert...remember that this was a few years ago and unlike Dan Rather I have not fabricated any of this actual verified conclusive evidence that Wild Bill and his pal Sodom.. er, ah.. I mean Saddam have met on much closer terms than was ever imagined...

No wonder the Dems wanted to dilute the surveillance power of the CIA...chee! I mean if I was to get caught sipping champaign in the dessert with this Rat, I wouldnt want the world to know either...

But then again, this is Teflon Willie...slick as the slime on his trousers....

Im not sure if it is significant... since all politicians are crooks and liars, it only further confirms what we already knew about him, but is certainly a great photo op for me in my mini career in the paparazzi!

Roll em!

Next week...Elvis returns from the dead to pose with Fernando Marcos and the Grateful Dead along with Tiny Tim and White Mud during an interview with Larry King....

Meanwhile, in a desparate attempt to keep themselves in the news, The National Hurricane Forcasting Center has manufactured another storm now named #27 Gamma. This one (they promise) will wash out onto the shores of our friends in Central America, so while it poses no immediated threat to the United States, it still makes enough news to sell a few "Tide soap" commercials and maybe sell a few Ford SUV's before people start leaving these school busses in the street for lack of funds to fuel them. Maybe even a few more pieces of plywood, before the season ends.

The NOAA people insist that they have had nothing to do with manufacturing the weather, but our hidden cameras have once again caught the director of The National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Assholministration fiddling with the rain and wind in a remote part of the United States...on a government restricted property....

Actually, this photo is not The NOAA people doing a rain dance, in fact its not even a rain dance...We only wanted to show some National Enquirer picture of 3rd world people with bare breasts to keep your attention.

But we are sure that these NOAA scoundrels are in fact messing with the weather...and we mean to prove it just as Dan Rather proved inconclusively that G.W. Bush had skipped out on his finals at the national guard amory or whatever it was that he meant to prove....

At this time in my professional career, I know that weather is no accident! Somebody makes this happen! I am dedicated to finding the culprit and bringing him to justice in my lifetime!

My lifetime goal is to capture and punish the evildoers who have been tampering with the weather! I, like the old jewish fellow who recently passed on...Simon Weisenheimer who chased aging Nazis into outer space until there was none left, mean to make it my lifetime goal to find and persecute...er ah I mean execute those who would mess with our perfect weather...amen!

Ive had enough! "Im Mad As Hell, And Im Not Going To Take It Anymore!"

If I have my way, the sun will shine again in Florida, and Arthur Godfrey may even rise from the dead to do his show on Miami Beach once again...making fun of little children in their innocence...wait,,,that was Art Linkletter...nevermind!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Doctor Hormone's Hurricane Question and Answer Board Part III

Well, Here I am again...Doctor Hormone with irrelevant answers to your silly questions on hurricanes in general as well as specific questions regarding the most recent hurricane seasons activity...

First, my general report:

Hurrican Wilma clobbered the Florida peninsula with amazing accuracy...it hammered the entire state, almost.

Nice job for a redhead from the prehistoric ages...

The damage is immeasurable, and the pain and suffering is ongoing....people are still without electrical power even at the date of this post. Like bugs with beepers and cellphones we continue to scurry about no longer searching for water and plywood, but free money and handouts and insurance compensation and FEMA goodies.

Manners and goodwill are growing thin, while demands for handouts and bad driving habits resume their normal madness.

By this time next year, the people who have been taxed with outrageous utility bill assessments and insurance premium increases will be trying to figure out how to escape from Florida as the cost of living continues to exceed the abilities of most tenants of this corner of hell on the planet.

I predict that real estate values will plummet, as people begin to dump property that they can no longer afford, and the "Investor Sharks" will come in and gobble up the remains as I once predicted about 30 years ago. Forclosure will be the word of the day.

As people and businesses evacuate in a slower fashion, actually faster than during this seasons storms, Florida will once again become the desolate abandonded swamp it was always meant to be.

I Doctor Hormone, personally do not care at all. In fact, as i watch the evening news from my quiet porch in New Mexico or Arizona, where hurricanes seldom visit, I will laugh and celebrate the tragic stupidity of the idiots who choose to remain in the swamps.

With a sweet twist on my own fathers quote as we left Michigan so many years ago and I asked why, he said:

"Let the dumb bastards freeze and live in the dark and cold"

As I prepare to leave this hellhole, I now say:

"Let the dumb bastards sweat and live in the dark and wet"

"Let them sweat sleepless nights with generators blaring, and loud obnoxious latin music all night from those who got power ahead of me."

"Let them fight over gasoline in long lines, and water, and ice, and plywood each year!"

"Let them cry over thier outrageous insurance bills and utility bills for power they never even got!"

"Let them whine about the lack of available roofing contractors due to the stingy attitudes of the local building code enforcement agents who will not permit people to get a roof done by anyone without a Florida Lisence"

"Let them figure out how to repair their homes year after year while living in a zone of the planet that has gone sour!"

Im gone! Im Doctor Greg Hormone, and I approve this message!