Friday, February 25, 2005

Can We Trust a Guy Named Putin?

Forget the fuckin politics...lets stick with the question here..Can we trust a guy named "Putin?"

Cmon! Christ! really! his first name is Vladimir...strike one! His last name is fucking...."Putin!"

Putin?...why not Pooty? How about Pooter? or Poot?...its tough enough for a person who is just trying to tough it out in the Bronx or a kid who hides out denying that their family tortured them with a perverse nickname...

But this is a world leader...Forget about Clintons foibles in the White House getting his pecker tickled, and dipping cigars in an intern's twat....forget about the infamy of the Kennedy family murdering their failed lovers by suffocation or driving them off of bridges in Mass of two shits...

This is a guy who must be deeply depressed and so has adjoined himself with gangsters from countries in Iran and such...

I say we just kick his ugly ass like we are doing so well around the world already! Smack this faggot with a beer bottle, call him a fartface...a "Putin" and overthrow him with a handful of CIA operatives...simple!

By the way...Bill Oreilly is a fucking money grubbing prick!

Oh.... this just in....A Doctor named Al Zarkawi will be doing the open throat surgery on Pope John Paul II...his chances for a full recovery are estimated to be at 95%....

Sunday, February 20, 2005

They're Coming....

Yes we are coming!

White Mud Blues band has ordered the delay of the explosion of Mt. Saint Helen, until the syncronization of the reunion and the actual volcanic explosion can occur at the same time!

While the venting of Mt. Saint Helen's continues to occur, the grand finale will hopefully not occur until White Mud at least announces their 2005 Show!

We are only a heartbeat away from announcing this show, but with all due respect for the owner of the club, White Mud has delayed the show date and time and address until such authorization has been given from the club owner!

Never has such respect been been shown by White Mud for an event....By now White Mud would have eaten the club owners lunch and taken over the entire program! And yet, we have prevented the explosion of Mt. Saint Helen!

What a great bunch of guys we are!

February 15, 2005 - Growth of the new lava dome inside the crater of Mount St. Helens continues. As long as this eruption is in progress, episodic changes in the level of activity can occur over days, weeks, or even months. Increase in the intensity of eruption could occur suddenly or with very little warning and may include explosive events that produce hazardous conditions within several miles of the volcano.
The Monument Manager has closed Mount St. Helens to climbing. The crater rim and flanks of the volcano above the 4800-foot level have been closed due to an increased potential for steam explosions from the lava dome that could propel rocks and/or ash clouds above the crater rim. Existing climbing permits have been cancelled and Jacks Restaurant and Store has stopped issuing new permits.

Amazing similarity? I dont think so! ...

Just more of the madness of Mud!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Apologies for Previous Blog

Hello readers,

First I must apologize for the prevoius blog here, which was so pathertically boring that I considered removing it altogether but the rules are, like in art, you cannot erase...even bad art! All there is to do, is to go on...I am reminded now of these great words:

While performing surgery to fuse to small children together who would grow up and live together the rest of thier lives as artificially conjoined twins. I assisted the Great Doctor Guillermo Himmler in this procedure, and when the children both failed to come through the surgery together, Doctor Himmler casually turned to me and said, "Well, you cant have all winners!"

In an effort to bring you more interesting pertinent data, More related to your own lifestyles, I reviewed the stats of my previous blogs and decided to go back to the scum pond of perverse and mundane garbage that seems to draw the crowds...hopefully we will have a winner here!

Interestingly, I found that the largest number of hits to my blog posts came during the posting of blogs posted between Jan 04 and Feb 11 of this year. A high number of hits also came for the blog posted on December 13 of last year.

During this time, a lot of discussion was going on about my decision to put down Cody, my little cocker spaniel who was engaged in producing buckets of his crap, decoratively wrapped as Christmas presents. Cody was running out of creative substanence much as I did on my last blog...

I guess the lesson to be learned here at least according to one anonymous reader is to "Stick to the shit"

Nothing like some nice warm shit to draw a crowd. Speaking of statistics, The World Health Organization has done extensive studies on the global dog population, and yet no one seems to really know even approximately how many dogs roam the planet freely, which is a concern to me since I have seen Cody fill up my small 40' x 12' patio with droppings wall to wall in less than 3 days. I pondered the question...

If Cody could fill a patio 40 x 12 in 2.5 days, and a train is leaving Philadelphia at the same time:

1. How much shit is that in pounds?
2. How much shit does that average in each day?
3. How many other dogs are doing this daily?
4. What then is the annual gross tonnage figure of canine feces being dumped on the planet?
5. What effect could this have on the Ozone layer?

Now new information has come out that totally shifts the conversation. Courtesy of Zen Dog Hawks Weird and Wacky News post #44,

I quote in part:

"SCIENTIST CREATES DIAMONDS FROM DOG POOP!It's doggone amazing! A scientist has invented a method for deriving synthetic diamonds -- from dog poop! Dr. Florence Gurnley, founder of Caninegems, Inc., says her machine can convert a few pounds of pooch poop into a diamond of perfect color and clarity. "We can create a 2-carat diamond suitable for an engagement ring that might cost $8,000 in a jewelry store -- for as little as $50," Dr. Gurnley brags. Gemologists who've examined the man-made stones confirm that even the most experienced jeweler would be unable to distinguish them from high-quality natural diamonds.

Please click the link above to read more detail on this profound new discovery!

Heres the real concern though, what happens if these dogs discover that they have the potential to totally destroy the world economy by fabricating dogshit diamonds and flooding the world markets with them?

Its really time for us to reconsider the Mans Best Friend Relationship we assume to have with these 4 leggers! I dont mean to sound xenophobic here but, it is thought provoking isnt it?

Well there's your daily load of shit...more shit on shit, from this reporter, later!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

A Strange World Indeed...

February 02, 2005....

It's a strange world we live in....

1979, Sex Pistol Sid Vicious succumbs to a heroin overdose while awaiting trial for the murder of his girlfriend ... 1980, commemorating the first anniversary of Sid Vicious' death, 1,000 punks stage a march in London ... the dead Sex Pistol's mother, Ann Beverly, had been slated to head the parade, but she's in hospital recovering from a drug overdose...

2005, Sex Symbol Pope John Paul continues to survive from a cold, being hit by a car as a young man, and being shot by a would be assasin. His bullet proof car awaits his recovery for the ride home... So that this senile old man can continue to rule 45% of the planet from his wheelchair.

2005...For calendar year 2002, an estimated 1,800,000 referrals alleging child abuse or neglect were accepted by State and local child protective services (CPS) agencies for investigation or assessment. The referrals included more than 3 million children, and of those, approximately 896,000 children were determined to be victims of child abuse or neglect by the CPS agencies.

And yet, the major news stations will spend the next year assaulting the reputation of Michael Jackson for his lone role in the perpetuation of this horrific crime...not that he is innocent, but what about all the others? Why did we wait for a celebrity to come forth and take all the attention?

2005... Loser imbiciles such as "so called" Professor Ward Churchill, and "so called" US Senator Nancy Pelosi continue to rant and rail at the White House administration, calling vicitms of 9/11 nazis, and President Bush a terrorist, while Iraq has free elections for the first time in 30 years!

And these socialist misfits are allowed to keep their jobs...Who supports people like this? The answer is...other misfits!

In an essay entitled "Some People Push Back: On the Justice of Roosting Chickens," Churchill called the workers killed in the World Trade Center "little Eichmanns" — after the Nazi Adolf Eichmann, who helped mastermind the murder of European Jews during World War II. He said trade center employees were "technocrats of empire" working for the "engines of profit" and as such were inevitable targets. "They were civilians of a sort," he said. "But innocent, gimme a break."

House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco rejected Republican demands Thursday that she apologize for her strong condemnation of President Bush, as raw nerves over Iraq collided with raw politics on Capitol Hill.
Republican leaders accused Pelosi of taunting the troops, inspiring the enemy and putting American lives at risk by telling The Chronicle on Wednesday that Bush is an "incompetent leader'' who lacks the judgment, experience or knowledge to make good decisions.
Pelosi stood her ground, telling reporters that "the emperor has no clothes." With the violence in Iraq threatening to overshadow all other issues in the coming election season, each party claimed to possess the moral high ground in setting the rules for debate.
"She apparently is so caught up in the partisan hatred for President Bush that her words are putting American lives at risk,'' said House Majority leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas. "This nation cannot afford the luxury of her dangerous rhetoric.''

Yep...strange world indeed! Meanwhile, White Mud and the Incredible MowHawk Brothers quietly await their turn to disrupt the peace, contribute to the general disorder, and gain their 15 minutes of fame...