Monday, January 24, 2005

White Mud Will Promote Show On Several Fronts

White Mud Blues Band has reported to us here at the Doctor Hormone web that they will be using many old conventional efforts to promote their 2005 Grande Delusions Show as well as some newer unique ideas.

Among the older traditional ideas will be handbills, posters and bumper stickers with an old fashioned Grande Ballroom feel to them. White Mud is searching for an artist who can replicate the feel of the old Gary Grimshaw style posters that were the standard of the day.

White Mud hopes to have these handbills placed in strategic places that will render a high exposure to the community at large dring the last remaining weeks prior to the show.

News reports indicate that Mt. St. Helen is still rumbling and may erupt at just the precise time to help announce the show...White Mud still claims responsibility for the events leading up to the eruption.

Endorsements have been rather non tradtional in the Rock Music industry, but White Mud means to pull all the stops and so, endorsements from other legends in the industry will be relied upon rather heavily.

The celebrity support will range from people like Aaaaaaaaashley Simpson who has agreed to do a video trailer to endorse the show where she will have a voice over dubbed in while she stands before the camera with her mouth fully closed for the duration of the clip.

Other people who have agreed to endorse the show include:

The Late Groucho Marx
The Late Frank Zappa (Who was noted as saying, "Im Frank Zappa, and although Im quite dead, I approve this message!")

Also The Late Founding father of White Mud Vondy Campbell has indicated through nocturnal dreams to various members of the band that he will be there at the show as well!

Wouldnt be the same without you old friend.

More intensive planning details can be observed at White Muds Forum boards, where members can access full detail and guests can get a good picture of the events to come, at the following links:

Stay tuned!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Ashley Simpson Sucks! White Mud Sees Potential!

You know, some people suck so bad at their profession that you have to wonder...can they be that bad without meaning it?

Ashley Simpson the now famed lipsyncing little slut who is truly a bad wannabee of Joan Jet, (who was actually great) soooo baaaaaaaad that White Mud is considering an opening for her among the giants of badness! Us! Lead Non-singer!

Picture it...she moves her mouth and there is no vocal noise at all...just White Mud playing badly...then the singing starts and she is standing there with her mouth closed, scratching her ass...


A quote from one of her fans:

"Finally, you're exposed for the fraud that you are," wrote an E-mail poster named drdrewby minutes after the embarrassing performance. "You have cheated your fans and people who actually thought that you had a lick of talent. You should quit the music business because you are now and always will be a complete and utter joke."

"Well, hell she will fit in here quite well!" Remarked newcomer Tommy Moe Hawk, associate member of White Mud, and life member of the now famous Hawk Brothers who we all know and love...

Tommy Hawk has since been away on a sabaticle of sorts (we hope)...We havent heard from him since he slipped away some days ago... A search party has been organized to find him since the Great Tsunami of recent....

We are confident that Tommy is alive and well. He has several floatation devices in his posession (we hope) which he can inflate for his health and survival!

However, we are still concerned about his absence of late and if you see him, please return him to us...

Care of:

The Incredible Mohawk Brothers / White Mud Blues Band
8952 Grand River Ave. Detroit, Michigan
USAGPS Coordinates: Lat - 42 21 879' Lon - 83 07 703'Elevation: 600' approximately

We will pay the shipping if you find him and wish to return him to us for future missions...particularly, the Incredible Hawkadelic studio sessions which are soon to begin, as well as his expected appearance at the White Mud reunion in 2005!

Meanwhile, White Mud will audition the now infamous Aaaaashley, as well as the turds who were formerly known as Milli Vanilli for backup vocals...

White Mud is proud to share the stage with people of equal or less talent...It's not over till Milli Vanilli sings!