Saturday, April 21, 2007

Another Cheap Advertisement from Outer Space...

Hi, Im Lisa...Im an astronaut. Sometimes being an astronaut isn't easy! It's a pants pissing job.

Even though I never got to go to the moon in a formal mission, I did get a little Looney recently...and those Depends Diapers were the bomb!

Imagine getting pissed off at your "younger than you are, boyfriend" because while you are out flying around looking at atmospheric bullshit....So called global warming and all that other hooey! And Mister Young Dick is out boinking some other young thing...

You get home after a hard days work in the ionisphere, all sweaty and smelly from pissing yourself during takeoff at 12G's and your ready for a good hard banging from Mr. Wonderful and he is putting it to some other bitch who was banging Bill instead!

Fucking bitch! Thank God for pepper spray and Daisy BB Guns!

And thanks to Global Positioning Sattellite Transponders!

"As a condition of her release, Nowak was ordered to wear a global positioning satellite device, known as a GPS."

And if it wasnt for Garmin I would have never found my way from Texas to Florida! Or been released on bail!

Thanks Garmin!

They make the best damn global positioning transponders!

So much for cheap advertising which will hopefully get me enough money for my trial and upcoming legal expenses....

Im writing a book soon...Ill advertise that too since it may help get me enough money to get Bill back, and get back into NASA's good graces. In the meanwhile, fuck you Colleen Shipman you worthless bitch!
I pissed my panties for almost 1200 miles and those Depends were great! I had a shitload when I finally reached Florida, but when I finally put the hurt on that little bitch Colleen, I was fresh as a Daisy! Hah Hah get it? A Daisy? Daisy BB Gun?

Oh fine! Fuck you people if you cant take a joke! Hey Ive been into outer space and I dont have to explain myself to you ass clowns!

Listen, life is totally screwed up but one thing I can tell you is that whatever your reason for taking a long cross country trip, Depends Diapers will give you the freedom to travel from coast to coast, almost non stop (except for gasoline) to make your destination in record time!

Remember! Depends are approved by NASA!


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