Monday, January 15, 2007

Heartbreaking News About Cody The Wonderdog....

Cody The Amazing Wonderdog just celebrated his 14th Birthday yesterday...January 14 2007! He was a beautiful little puppy when we first brought him home....

But sadly, today one day after his 14th birthday, he accidentally fell in a ditch...actually a hole that was dug by my fence guy who was digging fence hole posts to replace some fence that was damaged by last years rotten hellatious fuck suck storms after hurricane Wilma recked our world....

The hole was a perfect size to bury him since when he fell in ass first, his head would only emerge if he did a little jump thing...otherwise he was perfect to bury if he would only sit still.....

I suggested to the fence guy that he simply dig a second hole for the fence post and use the dirt from the second hole for the fence post to bury Cody with, in the first hole...but he was an animal loving pussy assed loser (which cost him his tip) and insisted that I recover Cody from the hole so he could finish his work on the fence posts!

I am not making up one second of this story! I swear it!

I only wish I had the foresight to bring out the camera so that U-Tube could enjoy the pleasure I did of watching Cody scream and struggle to get out of that 3' deep hole.



I was busy doing a lot of other bullshit things and was quite pissed off todat so when the opportunity to film Cody in trouble presented itself, i was too pissed off and didnt bother to get the camera....

And That my friends...is the real tradgety of the story! If you could have seen this little fucker whining and struggling to get out of a hole as deep as his perfect grave could be....well it was perfect!

I suggested to the fence guy several times to just dig a second hole and throw the dirt onto the hole Cody was in...but Eugenia was there and he was an animal lover and blah blah blah....

So the real tradgedy is that I didnt film the little rat fuck bastard squirming and whining after he ran out in the yard and fell into the hole ass backwards...so I could have made a million dollars on U-Tube with the video of this worthless little prick fuck dog making a nusuisance of himself and totally disrupting the days work.

Unfortunately he lives...and even after a bath which I refused to give him (Eugenia did it) he sits comfortably on my living room floor enjoying the luxury of my company while I suffer with his presence with the opportunity of making a kiling on U-Tube or something with a video of some of the greatest incidental animal abuse ever filmed!

Bummer that! I am not making up one second of this story! But of course without film, it is impossible to back up with evidence....

My only question is why the fuck did he not fall in head first so I could be writing a final story instead of just another chapter in the legend of Cody The Worthless Flying Fuckwad Wonderdog?

I hate him! I lost millions today!

1 Comments:

Blogger Martin said...

Dig another hole and put his little butt in it and then film it.

Sir Martin of White Mud

1/16/2007 09:37:00 AM  

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