Super Stupid Bowl 40 in New Falluja 2006
Well here we are in Detroit, Michigan…covering the Stupid Bowl 2006. “Super Duper Stupid Bowl 40”
The City of Detroit has not seen so much money at one time since the federal government provided emergency management during the summer riots of 1967.
Detroit Metro Airport had a very difficult time accommodating so many people coming “in” to town. But all seems to have gone reasonably well, only two murders in Detroit the day before.
Sort of a moratorium in New Falluja for the games! What a great place!
But the highlight of the Stupid Bowl was the ½ time show! The Rolling Stones! What energy! The only thing more exciting were the violent commercials with at least 11 people getting sacked in their office environments while chasing Budweiser Beer….
I thought a good commercial would have been the Budweiser wagon rolling down Woodward Avenue in Detroit, and a couple of bums running across the street fleeing the local Bum Clubbing Sportsters, then as one of the Clubbers takes a swing, he accidentally clobbers one of the Clydesdales and as the camera fades to black, the caption scrolls across the marquis….
“Even Detroit likes to knock down a few Budweisers now and then”
The horse drops to the ground, and the camera fades to black….sweet!
So much for my advertising career! I had the opportunity to chat with Keith Richards during the ½ time show…Well not directly…I couldn’t have understood him in person anyway…anyone ever hear that guy talk? But I did drop him an email during the show and here’s how it went.
Now, to be honest, Keith never did actually respond to my ½ time interview, but if he had, Im guessing the interview would have gone something like this:
Doctor Hormone = D.H.
What Keith Richards Might Have Said If He Actually Responded = W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R.
D.H. Hey Keith, Doc Hormone here from the good old USA. I just finished watching your set during the 1/2 time and I wondered why I couldnt hook up with you on a video cam...dont you guys carry your laptops with you on tour?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Nmpph. Ir git tom muphim thre git blast o the frkin liptap wuz enthefrigginfritz bugga!
D.H. I couldnt help but marvel at the classic showmanship of The Stones...what a band! Rock And Rolls prettiest people. I noticed that Bill Wyman was not in the lineup...
What happened to Bill? Like the Monkey’s Peter Nesbith he was the cute one…what is his fav color?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. How the fuck should I know his fav culr? Hez git neafrbrob le killinme wet you git questns, ya gobbin git! Fockoff!
D.H. Ive been out of the universe on business for a bit...did I miss something? Is he no longer with the band? I hope he is ok.
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Fackoff ya gobbin get! Ya jacktersfoff wida hammer ya do…Stupid yankfuk jackflashin asssuker.
D.H. Why didnt you guys do "Time is On My Side?" It would have been appropriate since it was 1/2 time...Get it?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Yeah…Didn’t think ovit mefers me got git to gsarbin the glank offit in the thyme weeeaaad ya know? Buuuurrrrp.
D.H. You looked fantastic as always! I think you would look great on a Wheaties box. Have they approached you yet? If not...fucking why?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Fockoff ya gobbin twinkie! Whats wit yur focking miiind anywaaay? Dya fock sheep oar whaaat?
D.H. Well its the 3rd qtr now, and I wondered if you had any projections on the outcome of the game or any sideline suggestions for the teams....you know, like should they put Roger Staubach in to quarterback for Roethlisberger since his name is easier to spell, or should The Stones go in as a special team for Seattle in overtime if the game gets that far along.
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Iffin da flubbin coachezdid wotdey waz paydtudu deyeda fixing demup to winnit anna fekun differcult ta fokin say…really….(takes a long drag off his smoke) annum deywudda heditt in the foist goroun but get yer gobbin shiite together ya folkin gobs, I mean who folkin gits this yankee soccer anywayz ya know?
D.H. In closing, will you be doing any personal public service announcements? I heard a rumor that you might be doing something with the Drug Abuse Resistance Education D.A.R.E. program.
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Fak no! Fakoff ya gobbin get! Inot stobbin me life for no shiiite fakin homostastic faggot assed rehab Shiite! Fakkoff! No.
D.H. I was informed that you might sell out, and become the poster child for this D.A.R.E. program. Im sure that im wrong here...please clarify...Will we soon see you in posters with a big red circle drawn through your face?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Git thefok off me! Iii saaaiiid I waznot gittininta no fakin gobbin rehab fukkin Shiite….chrisssakes!
D.H. Regardless of your future plans, Me and my band The White Mud Blues Band who have been rabid fans of you guys forever, will continue to support the Bad Boy image of you and brother Stones, Mic, Ron, Charlie, and the brother on bass...where's Bill though?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Fakkoff!
D.H. Hey, gimme a call when you can talk. If you guys can hang around Detroit for a few weeks, White Mud means to do a 36 year reunion in April. Maybe we can hook up and have you join us.
- Greg Hormone
The City of Detroit has not seen so much money at one time since the federal government provided emergency management during the summer riots of 1967.
Detroit Metro Airport had a very difficult time accommodating so many people coming “in” to town. But all seems to have gone reasonably well, only two murders in Detroit the day before.
Sort of a moratorium in New Falluja for the games! What a great place!
But the highlight of the Stupid Bowl was the ½ time show! The Rolling Stones! What energy! The only thing more exciting were the violent commercials with at least 11 people getting sacked in their office environments while chasing Budweiser Beer….
I thought a good commercial would have been the Budweiser wagon rolling down Woodward Avenue in Detroit, and a couple of bums running across the street fleeing the local Bum Clubbing Sportsters, then as one of the Clubbers takes a swing, he accidentally clobbers one of the Clydesdales and as the camera fades to black, the caption scrolls across the marquis….
“Even Detroit likes to knock down a few Budweisers now and then”
The horse drops to the ground, and the camera fades to black….sweet!
So much for my advertising career! I had the opportunity to chat with Keith Richards during the ½ time show…Well not directly…I couldn’t have understood him in person anyway…anyone ever hear that guy talk? But I did drop him an email during the show and here’s how it went.
Now, to be honest, Keith never did actually respond to my ½ time interview, but if he had, Im guessing the interview would have gone something like this:
Doctor Hormone = D.H.
What Keith Richards Might Have Said If He Actually Responded = W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R.
D.H. Hey Keith, Doc Hormone here from the good old USA. I just finished watching your set during the 1/2 time and I wondered why I couldnt hook up with you on a video cam...dont you guys carry your laptops with you on tour?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Nmpph. Ir git tom muphim thre git blast o the frkin liptap wuz enthefrigginfritz bugga!
D.H. I couldnt help but marvel at the classic showmanship of The Stones...what a band! Rock And Rolls prettiest people. I noticed that Bill Wyman was not in the lineup...
What happened to Bill? Like the Monkey’s Peter Nesbith he was the cute one…what is his fav color?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. How the fuck should I know his fav culr? Hez git neafrbrob le killinme wet you git questns, ya gobbin git! Fockoff!
D.H. Ive been out of the universe on business for a bit...did I miss something? Is he no longer with the band? I hope he is ok.
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Fackoff ya gobbin get! Ya jacktersfoff wida hammer ya do…Stupid yankfuk jackflashin asssuker.
D.H. Why didnt you guys do "Time is On My Side?" It would have been appropriate since it was 1/2 time...Get it?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Yeah…Didn’t think ovit mefers me got git to gsarbin the glank offit in the thyme weeeaaad ya know? Buuuurrrrp.
D.H. You looked fantastic as always! I think you would look great on a Wheaties box. Have they approached you yet? If not...fucking why?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Fockoff ya gobbin twinkie! Whats wit yur focking miiind anywaaay? Dya fock sheep oar whaaat?
D.H. Well its the 3rd qtr now, and I wondered if you had any projections on the outcome of the game or any sideline suggestions for the teams....you know, like should they put Roger Staubach in to quarterback for Roethlisberger since his name is easier to spell, or should The Stones go in as a special team for Seattle in overtime if the game gets that far along.
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Iffin da flubbin coachezdid wotdey waz paydtudu deyeda fixing demup to winnit anna fekun differcult ta fokin say…really….(takes a long drag off his smoke) annum deywudda heditt in the foist goroun but get yer gobbin shiite together ya folkin gobs, I mean who folkin gits this yankee soccer anywayz ya know?
D.H. In closing, will you be doing any personal public service announcements? I heard a rumor that you might be doing something with the Drug Abuse Resistance Education D.A.R.E. program.
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Fak no! Fakoff ya gobbin get! Inot stobbin me life for no shiiite fakin homostastic faggot assed rehab Shiite! Fakkoff! No.
D.H. I was informed that you might sell out, and become the poster child for this D.A.R.E. program. Im sure that im wrong here...please clarify...Will we soon see you in posters with a big red circle drawn through your face?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Git thefok off me! Iii saaaiiid I waznot gittininta no fakin gobbin rehab fukkin Shiite….chrisssakes!
D.H. Regardless of your future plans, Me and my band The White Mud Blues Band who have been rabid fans of you guys forever, will continue to support the Bad Boy image of you and brother Stones, Mic, Ron, Charlie, and the brother on bass...where's Bill though?
W.K.R.M.H.S.I.H.A.R. Fakkoff!
D.H. Hey, gimme a call when you can talk. If you guys can hang around Detroit for a few weeks, White Mud means to do a 36 year reunion in April. Maybe we can hook up and have you join us.
- Greg Hormone
posted by greg hormone at 2/05/2006 10:28:00 PM
3 Comments:
Excellent reporting Doctor.
Could we get a translator involved here so we can understand what Keith mumbled?
Sir Martin of White Mud
You didn't understand that? Sounded clear as a frkkkkkkiin bellallllll to me!
Almost clear as Carlos the Santana
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