More On Hurricanes?....Why?

As if you havent had enough about the storms that nearly destroyed two or three major cities in the southeastern United States this year, heres some more worthless information:

1) Nearly all of the Original Flying Monkeys from the original Wizard Of Oz movie were killed trying to divert Hurricane Katrina from decimating the gulf coast. They bravely flew a mission over the gulf coast just south of New Orleans, trying to persuade the Hurricane to chase them as a distraction...

They failed, as the hurricane quickly swirled around them with its big fat arm of rain filled wind, and pulled them all down into the gulf waters and drowned them...All save Fred, the oldest and ugliest Flying Monkey...who looks a lot like our brother in White Mud, Bill Deagan...but its not Bill...

Fred lives on to tell the sad tale of their expedition...coming in a blog later this month...




2) Kofi Anon was accidentally speared through the head by The National Guard who mistook him as a looter since he was wearing raggedy short khakis and a Crips Gang T-Shirt while carrying a 52" Plasma TV screen out of the New Orleans Walmart on Front Street. It was covered up by the mainstream media, but the same guy who filmed the assault on Rodney King in LA a few years earlier, accidentally left his video camera running, and the entire event was captured by the Knights of the Royal Order of The Clan when they recovered the camera after its owner was eaten by a large crocodile near the 18th Street Bridge. So the story goes....

Mr. Anon seems to be recovering quite nicely from the wound and promises that he holds no remorse against the National Guard since he feels that his bandages which resemble a turban have endeared him to the Al Queda factions that he has hoped to find an avenue of communication with, in order to bring about world peace....What a guy! (He kept the TV)

3) At least 5 Dalmation dogs were lost during the storm. A search has been launched for the 6th missing dog. It is believed that President Bush may be directly responsible for thier deaths since he is alledged to have caused the storm in the first place, by unleashing an old war machine designed by the communists which controls the weather. Bush publicly apologized today saying that he had no idea that the war machine would single out a particular breed of dogs.

4) Frank Johnson of Baton Rouge L.A. lost his 12' fishing boat during the storm, and has posted a $40,000.00 for the recovery of his boat, since the hull was filled with 2.5 million dollars of cocaine. The boat is a small silver Groatsman Special, with the licence number #E50469881 on either side of the hull. Frank can be reached at the following phone: 402-281-1594. Please do not contact the F.B.I. or others on this, Frank would like to keep this matter kinda quiet.

5) The Homeland Security Office has denied allegations that they are training allgators to eat any illegal aliens who may attempt to land in what may be construed as unguarded coastal shores. Homeland Defense Director Howard Flemson remarked:

"Please!, How could we possibly teach these gators to make a distinction between an Illegal Alien who is just landing, and one who has already sneaked in in such a short time?"

6) General Motors is recalling 200,000 Pontiac Sunbirds from 1970-2001 that were supposed to be able to float for more than an hour, in 6'+ of brackish water. They didnt! apparently, the door seals failed in salt water and they sank much like everything else! Contact your loca GM dealer if you owned one of these vehicles.

7) Lousiana Power and Light has offered a discount to property owners who wish to turn on their power before their property has been fully drained of seawater. Realizing the reluctance of homeowners who are intimidated by the possibility of electrocution, the power company has offered the incentive at least until the standing water recedes to at least a puddle.

Emo Gropli From LP&L promised that they could minimize the danger by regulating the power to a mere harmless 24volts to prevent electrocution, but that the power would only light a lamp as bright as a common matchstick.

And finally, Bayou Joe is back in business, selling 4-8 week old dead fish that he has collected across the bay, for an extreme discount of .12 pound! Joe insists that these fish are still edible if properly salted. Visit his website for a Cajun recipe on old salted fish creole style!

Well thats it for now... Stay tuned for more good news as life goes on...

Oh one last thing...free tetanus and dyptheria shots will be administered at the Old Church in Calai Parish on Deagen road just south of I-10.