Government Intervention Tries to Ruin Christmas Once Again!
Well...well...well. It's no surprise that the U.S. Government and the do-gooder P.C. whiners would sick the hounddogs of government policing on White Mud Blues Band!
We launch a Christmas Holiday product inventory to help poor people celebrate the season, and in comes the U.S. Gestapo (The F.D.A.) to tell us that our "Christmas Shit Bucket" is in violation of health rules!
OOOOOhhh Pleeeease! First of all Codys fecal art is not for human consumption! It says so on the bucket! WARNING: "Please do not eat the shit!" Ok?
Second, even if it were eaten, by some...it is all FDA approved since the shit is made directly from FDA approved dogfood that I bought at the grocery store! Not only are the ingredients FDA approved, but Cody has been petted and therefore "Blessed" by an authentic Orthodox Rabbi to produce...if you will...Kosher Christmas Dogshit! Im not making this up...
These Christmas turds that are included in the packages of our inventory, while not showing any distinct resemblance to the Virgin Mary or murals of the Last Supper, do have a significant role in the celebration of the holidays....
Cody's Christmas Crap Collection is "special" in that, it is not unlike the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich! It is assumed that it is not meant to be eaten! Would you eat a 10 year old grilled cheese sandwich that has an image of The Virgin Mary on it? Even though it has no mold on it?
So why would the FDA need to enforce a "Consumption Restriction Rule" on some dogshit?
Im confident that, even without the warnings, nobody short of some 4 year old idiot from Detroit would endeavor to eat the decorations out of Cody's Christmas Crap Bucket?"
Are there warnings on the glass Christmas ornaments that are sold in Walmarts?
WARNING: Please do not eat these glass ornaments as they may cause a sore throat?"
Ok...lets suppose that some dummys might choose to actually eat the ornaments included in the "Codys Christmas Crap Bucket" So what? what would happen? would they be any worse off than those who consumed the FDA approved Vioxx?
No! Cody's turds are as safe as "Playdough" They are made of a pure soy product, and and occasional piece of steak (Grade A, USDA approved)
We have worked hard to have these Holiday packages meet the scrutiny of political correctness...there are Kwanza Krap Kits, there is the Christmas Crap Bucket, there is the Muslim Mong Package, there is the Kosher Ka Ka Kit, there is the Anal Accessories for Atheists Gift Pac...
Besides...its all fat free and meets all of the AMA reccomendations and if you do accidentally swallow a turd, they are filled with vitamins!
Cmon! Were just trying to make a fucking living here! Cody is stressed out...hes been shitting 12-15 times a day to meet his quota...Im force feeding him like a Colonel Saunders Kentucky Chicken just to get him to dump enough doo-doo to get these gifts out to the children!
Now the freakin FDA and USDA has stepped in to tell me I need to spend another 3.5 mil to put warning labels on the buckets? Im trying to make a lousy $237.35 to buy Christmas presents! This is bullshit!
This is all the warning Im going to give you people! Ready?
WARNING: EATING THE CODY CHRISTMAS CRAP BUCKET CONTENTS MAY BE HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH. DO NOT EAT THE SHIT IN THE BUCKET! HANDLE THE TURDS WITH A PAIR OF FDA APPROVED RUBBER GLOVES. DO NOT LEAVE THE TURD ORNAMENTS NEAR AN OPEN FLAME. USE THESE ORNAMENTS IN AN OPEN AREA WITH PROPER VENTILATION, AND DO NOT PROP THESE ORNAMENTS NEAR HOT ORNAMENTAL BULBS.
This product was originally meant to be promoted as an organic, environmentally safe product to help people all over the world celebrate a world common holiday! But no....Now we have to make apologies for our shit product!
Fine! Merry Christmas from Cody and Doctor Hormone!
We launch a Christmas Holiday product inventory to help poor people celebrate the season, and in comes the U.S. Gestapo (The F.D.A.) to tell us that our "Christmas Shit Bucket" is in violation of health rules!
OOOOOhhh Pleeeease! First of all Codys fecal art is not for human consumption! It says so on the bucket! WARNING: "Please do not eat the shit!" Ok?
Second, even if it were eaten, by some...it is all FDA approved since the shit is made directly from FDA approved dogfood that I bought at the grocery store! Not only are the ingredients FDA approved, but Cody has been petted and therefore "Blessed" by an authentic Orthodox Rabbi to produce...if you will...Kosher Christmas Dogshit! Im not making this up...
These Christmas turds that are included in the packages of our inventory, while not showing any distinct resemblance to the Virgin Mary or murals of the Last Supper, do have a significant role in the celebration of the holidays....
Cody's Christmas Crap Collection is "special" in that, it is not unlike the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich! It is assumed that it is not meant to be eaten! Would you eat a 10 year old grilled cheese sandwich that has an image of The Virgin Mary on it? Even though it has no mold on it?
So why would the FDA need to enforce a "Consumption Restriction Rule" on some dogshit?
Im confident that, even without the warnings, nobody short of some 4 year old idiot from Detroit would endeavor to eat the decorations out of Cody's Christmas Crap Bucket?"
Are there warnings on the glass Christmas ornaments that are sold in Walmarts?
WARNING: Please do not eat these glass ornaments as they may cause a sore throat?"
Ok...lets suppose that some dummys might choose to actually eat the ornaments included in the "Codys Christmas Crap Bucket" So what? what would happen? would they be any worse off than those who consumed the FDA approved Vioxx?
No! Cody's turds are as safe as "Playdough" They are made of a pure soy product, and and occasional piece of steak (Grade A, USDA approved)
We have worked hard to have these Holiday packages meet the scrutiny of political correctness...there are Kwanza Krap Kits, there is the Christmas Crap Bucket, there is the Muslim Mong Package, there is the Kosher Ka Ka Kit, there is the Anal Accessories for Atheists Gift Pac...
Besides...its all fat free and meets all of the AMA reccomendations and if you do accidentally swallow a turd, they are filled with vitamins!
Cmon! Were just trying to make a fucking living here! Cody is stressed out...hes been shitting 12-15 times a day to meet his quota...Im force feeding him like a Colonel Saunders Kentucky Chicken just to get him to dump enough doo-doo to get these gifts out to the children!
Now the freakin FDA and USDA has stepped in to tell me I need to spend another 3.5 mil to put warning labels on the buckets? Im trying to make a lousy $237.35 to buy Christmas presents! This is bullshit!
This is all the warning Im going to give you people! Ready?
WARNING: EATING THE CODY CHRISTMAS CRAP BUCKET CONTENTS MAY BE HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH. DO NOT EAT THE SHIT IN THE BUCKET! HANDLE THE TURDS WITH A PAIR OF FDA APPROVED RUBBER GLOVES. DO NOT LEAVE THE TURD ORNAMENTS NEAR AN OPEN FLAME. USE THESE ORNAMENTS IN AN OPEN AREA WITH PROPER VENTILATION, AND DO NOT PROP THESE ORNAMENTS NEAR HOT ORNAMENTAL BULBS.
This product was originally meant to be promoted as an organic, environmentally safe product to help people all over the world celebrate a world common holiday! But no....Now we have to make apologies for our shit product!
Fine! Merry Christmas from Cody and Doctor Hormone!
posted by greg hormone at 12/09/2004 08:50:00 PM
1 Comments:
Boy, I must say you certainly appear to have mended your ways, Doctor Hormone. A few weeks ago, you held a 9mm hand gun at the head of poor Cody and threatened to blow his head off if you didn't receive a pay off and then you jacked up the price.
Now you are trying to bring joy to the world and help the helpless children have ornaments for their Christmas trees. What a nice change, it must have been meeting that Boy Scout that made you see the error of your ways!
Now the Gestapo government tries to prevent you from your mission of mercy and joy. What can we do to help you?
I must say that the names of all the Christmas gift packages are all great....but "Kosher Ka Ka Kit" is priceless!!
You are now a nice man, Doctor Hormone. Love to Cody too!
martin
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