Cody's Christmas Cold!
Poor tired old Cody...He's all pooped out from a busy Christmas season. I had to take him over to the vet to get his bum hole stitched from all of the Christmas Crap he made for his Gift Baskets and such.
While he was over there he caught a cold from another dog, a Cuban dog in fact. They never bathe or anything...So anyway now Cody who is 13 years old, blind in one eye, and deaf in both ears...lost his voice and cant bark, and has a hard time breathing...
What the hell kind of vetinary hospital lets a dog catch a cold while he is there for treatment? The Vet explained it this way:
"It's like when you take your child to day care and another kid there sneezes on him and he gets sick...no ones fault really it just fuckin happened."
But I argue that "He wasn't in "Day Care" he was in the hospital! Youre not supposed to go to the hospital to get sick...your'e supposed to go to the hospital to get well!"
So now, he cant see, cant hear, cant speak, wont come when you call him...hes all pooped out...Im thinkin about selling him to the glue factory like they did with Boxer the Horse in Animal Farm...
Anyone want an old dog? He can spell his name with his feces...did I mention that?
Im betting he'd make about a gallon of good sticky gooey glue.
While he was over there he caught a cold from another dog, a Cuban dog in fact. They never bathe or anything...So anyway now Cody who is 13 years old, blind in one eye, and deaf in both ears...lost his voice and cant bark, and has a hard time breathing...
What the hell kind of vetinary hospital lets a dog catch a cold while he is there for treatment? The Vet explained it this way:
"It's like when you take your child to day care and another kid there sneezes on him and he gets sick...no ones fault really it just fuckin happened."
But I argue that "He wasn't in "Day Care" he was in the hospital! Youre not supposed to go to the hospital to get sick...your'e supposed to go to the hospital to get well!"
So now, he cant see, cant hear, cant speak, wont come when you call him...hes all pooped out...Im thinkin about selling him to the glue factory like they did with Boxer the Horse in Animal Farm...
Anyone want an old dog? He can spell his name with his feces...did I mention that?
Im betting he'd make about a gallon of good sticky gooey glue.
posted by greg hormone at 12/31/2004 01:12:00 PM
2 Comments:
Sorry to hear about Cody's cold, but I am so glad you found a capitalist use for him, so you didn't shoot him!
What's this shit about turning him into the glue factory? First, he makes you famous in all the scatologically obcessed third world countries and then he makes you a ton of money for Christmas......what more do you want?
Ya know, people like you, don't even remember the kind of cards good people send you at Christmas time.....you're a BUM!!!!!
Doktor, you can't euthanize him...DON'T DO IT!!! He's man's best friend, the sign said so, and the sign wouldn't lie! So what if he can't hear you, you probably complain about him all the time anyway. So what if he can't see you, because at very least, he can't tell his dog friends about how you sit naked in front of the computer on the internet. So what if he can't smell you...for obvious reasons. As long as he can still lick his own balls and doesn't look for help from you in this dept., he's worth keeping as a friend, man's best friend. I don't even know Cody, but I love him, why can't you, Doktor? Any dog that learned how to spell out his name in fesces is worth keeping for his entire life, and beyond with the help of a good taxidermist. Got it? You better GET IT!!!
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